5 Songs for the Messy Middle of Divorce
When I was a kid, my single mama worked at the local radio station. Music was always on in our house, in the car, and on air when we frequented the station. I have always turned to music to heal what’s been broken. I look to music to find answers when I’m stuck in the muck, and I sure as hell go to music to shake off the bullshit, find my power, and dance.
These are my favorite songs to wrestle with the hard emotions of the ongoing divorce process. Do I want him back? Can I do this alone? Have I totally failed my kids?
Hanging Onto Hope
High Hope by Glen Hansard
Is there any artist who pours their soul into their music more than Glen Hansard? I haven’t found one. I heard this song for the first time when Glen appeared as a guest star on “Parenthood.” It seems that every album he releases comes at just the right time for whatever it is I am struggling with in life. And this one, the idea that it’s not truly over… The idea that somewhere down the road we’ll come back together as it was always meant to happen. This gets me.
Favorite Lyrics
'Cause I've been livin' in the half life
Not sure which way to turn
Why must a man lose everything
To find out what he wants
She Persisted
This is War by Ingrid Michaelson
If you don’t know Ingrid yet, it is time to discover this Canadian artist. “Be OK” was my gateway song and I haven’t turned back. In a divorce, there is often an actual war at stake but what is worse? Is the war inside, the betrayal and lost future and heartbreak, is that bloodier and more devastating than the one on the battlefield?
Favorite Lyrics
i won’t surrender i will fight better
you lock me out you knock me down but i will find my way around
i won’t surrender
this is war
Exhausted but Fighting
I’m Still Standing by Allison Miller
The original Elton John song is a classic, but I have always felt like the music didn’t match the lyrics. Like “All I Want for Christmas,” there is an aching in words. This version, from the TV show A Million Little Things, nails it! Yes, I am still standing but I have been fighting and clawing my way to stay there and part of me broke along the way.
Favorite Lyrics
The threats you made were meant to cut me down
And if our love was just a circus you'd be a clown by now
You know I'm still standing better than I ever did
Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid
I'm still standing after all this time
Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind
A Little Revenge
mine by Kelly Clarkson
Kelly Clarkson’s most recent album, Chemistry, is a gut wrenching reflection on the end of her marriage and I can’t recommend the entire album enough. This song, the way it resonates, tells me there is still plenty of healing to do. Let’s be honest, if we are still wishing harm on our exes then we are not healed from the pain of our marriage or it’s end. Sit with the pain and move on, because they don’t deserve our energy,
Favorite Lyrics
And you keep talkin', it'll come back, karma
Is the truth, I don't make you look bad, you do, darlin'
Sabotage, your choice of art
Who the hell do you think you are?
Take Your Time
Not Ready to Make Nice by The Chicks
We were in the car one day and this song came on. It broke my heart when my 12-year-old daughter said “this is the song that is most me, I think, Mama. I’m still so mad.” That was two years after the man she claimed as her dad left us. To her and to you I say don’t rush it. Take the time you need to forgive, if you even can, and don’t jump past all of the feelings you have just to appease someone.
Favorite Lyrics
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
'Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is
You think I should
If you play through these five songs and are ready to move into some Badass breakup song, go for it! Or check out all my favorite, non-broken heart, breakup songs in this playlist.
