The Three Stages of Divorce
When is the right time to consult with a divorce coach? If you are reading this, now is the right time.
There are three different times when you might need a divorce coach: before, during, and after your divorce is finalized. If you are already in the legal process, it is not too late to find a trusted coach. If you are just beginning to figure out whether you should stay or go, now is the perfect time to sit down with someone and start answering big questions.
The Before
Do you suspect life could be more beautiful?
If you have been thinking about why your life feels off and suspect that your marriage is the thing holding you back, you probably have a lot of questions and fears.
Some common questions might be:
What happens to the future I planned?
How will my children survive this?
Does leaving my marriage make me a bad mom?
Can I afford to live alone?
Is my marriage really over or is there something there worth saving?
How happy do I truly deserve to be?
If you answer the last question “I deserve a life as beautiful as I can imagine” then the rest of the questions answer themselves. With a little love, a little light, and a lot of badassery.
A divorce coach can help you answer these questions and:
Identify areas of issue in your marriage
Envision your most beautiful life beyond your marriage
Discover your priorities
Provide an overview of the divorce process
Recommend local attorneys and mediators
Prepare you for your first meeting with a lawyer
Assist with paperwork (so. much. paperwork.)
Save you time, heartache, and costly legal fees
When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.
–Audre Lorde
The During
The divorce process is long and lonely.
If you are already struggling through a divorce, you’re probably surprised by the seemingly never-ending process. And let’s be honest, your friends could use a break from hearing about it. Your life has completely imploded, the beautiful future you dreamed of when you decided to leave (or accept that your spouse has left) gets further away all the time. The feelings are BIG and interfere with your usual, smart decision making. A little love, a little light, and a lot of badassery will help you stay the course.
If you feel like you are drowning in the legal proceeding, a divorce coach can help you:A divorce coach can help you answer these questions and:
Build confidence and endurance
Sort through big emotions
Practice smart communication and decision making
Identify your values so you can show up as your best, most powerful self
Find places you could compromise so you save strength for those worth fighting for
Envisioning that beautiful life on the other side
Identify questions for your legal team so you use their time (and your money) wisely
Create a plan for overcoming hurdles
Maintain your sanity, integrity, love, and light
“Vulnerability is the emotion that we experience during times of uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. It’s having the courage to show up, fully engage, and be seen when you can’t control the outcome.”
-Brene Brown
The After
Building your most beautiful life
You did it! You are finally divorced! So, other than throwing a celebratory party, what now?
Welcome to the other side, where you thought things would be better but instead they are a different kind of awful. Transitioning to single life is not easy. You may be stunned by the silence or consumed by grief. You may be missing friendships you lost along the way or seeking new spiritual communities. All of these feelings of loss and loneliness are normal and you will get through it. A little love, a little light, and a lot of badassery will get you closer to that beautiful future. I promise.
A divorce coach can help you:
Find your voice and your purpose
Build your identity as a single woman, mom, and community member
Create new family traditions, free of your in-laws expectations
Maintain important boundaries with your ex
Learn how to co-parent with your ex
Take care of yourself the best way possible
Let that shit go (yes, that shit)
Connect you to other women who have similar experiences
Offer yourself a little love and a little light for all of your badassery
“I have a lot of things to prove to myself. One is that I can live my life fearlessly.”
–Oprah Winfrey